• The actual tickets

Valentine’s Day is one week from today. Of course, many of you couldn’t care less about the expensive prix fixe dinners and lovey-dovey pink shit everywhere, and we here at the Reader don’t blame you—we did just drop an issue titled “Romance Is for Suckers,” after all. But we also figure some of our readers want to get out of the house that day, regardless of their relationship status. Well, we may have you covered.

Reader music writer Leor Galil (this guy right here) wants to take you out this Valentine’s Day. Maybe not you specifically, but you know, you as it pertains to the female readers of this post. He recently obtained a pair of sought-after tickets to the play The Book of Mormon at the Bank of America Theatre. There’s no reason to get into the specifics of how or why he obtained a free pair of $75 tickets to the wildly successful and usually sold out musical created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone of South Park. He just has them, OK? And he wants some company.