The real thing about the Web that journalists don’t really like talking about is that thanks to the Internet we know everybody’s wants and needs as human beings and it’s very, very difficult to resist writing about blowjobs, or artistic nudes, or Lindsay Lohan cocaine pictures, or pete wentz emo sucks, or so forth, to get traffic. 

Those are just some examples of words you could use if you just wanted to cut to the chase. The fastest thing Randy Michaels could do to drag in pageviews is to have a page about how Fall Out Boy is awesome/sucks.

Maybe that’s what The Mash is for.

Plus: In Chicagoland?