Thanks to Whet Moser for this gem: Wired blogs that the army is seeking a “Professional Celebrity Rock Music Band” to tour military bases in Afghanistan and Kuwait. No, the entire entry isn’t written in Borat-speak–the rest of it’s in Pentagon legalese, which is even worse. Or better. (“Any criminal conduct, unexcused tardiness or absence which prevents timely starting of the performance(s) required hereunder, indecency or obscenity, drunkenness, damage to Government property, failure to discharge indebtedness to the Government, influence of narcotics or hallucinatory drugs, threatening breach of national security, violation of the rules and regulations of the Host Nation, Government or TFF MWR are grounds for termination of this contract.”) But there must be someone in Chicago’s music scene willing to run this gauntlet for our troops!