“Hang on, I’m getting a Cameo notification.” Credit: Rohit Tandon/Unsplash

Over the past few weeks, it’s becoming obvious that not all of MAGA actually believes the poison they’ve been peddling.

Not that it makes that poison any less toxic, or harder to clean up. 

Plenty of examples—with new ones popping up every day as we get closer to the midterms—but let’s start with a case closer to home, featuring our old friend Governor Blago.

Rod Blagojevich is, of course, our former governor who went to federal prison on corruption charges, including, though not limited to, trying to shake down the CEO of a children’s hospital for campaign contributions.

As part of its investigation, the feds tapped Blago’s phone, where they captured this immortal quote, which, I’m sure, will go down in history as his greatest single contribution to humanity.

“I’ve got this thing and it’s fucking golden. I’m just not giving it up for fucking nothing.”

That “thing” he had was his authority to fill the Senate vacancy created when Barack Obama was elected president. Which Blago seemed determined to give to the highest bidder.

Eventually, Blago was sentenced to 14 years in prison (too long, in my opinion). He did about eight years, before President Trump commuted his sentence in 2020.

Blago returned to Chicago and became an enthusiastic MAGA man, railing against Democratic causes, including the SAFE-T Act, which, among other things, eliminates cash bail.

Now you’d think a felon who feels he was unfairly investigated, arrested, indicted, convicted, and sentenced would not sign on to MAGA policies that would give authorities even more authority to arrest people and throw them into jail—where they remain, guilty or not, cause they can’t post bail.

But apparently, Blago, like his hero Trump, is more of a do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do kind of guy.

As such he took to Twitter to blast the SAFE-T act. And that’s where “Bob Peters” comes into the story. He read Blago’s tweet and got upset because . . .

“Bob Peters” is actually state Senator Robert Peters, a Democrat out of Hyde Park, who co-authored the SAFE-T bill, along with the so-called PFA provision that eliminates cash bail.

Yes, the bill eliminates cash bail. But that does not prohibit a judge from ordering a defendant to be detained. Despite what you might hear from everyone from Darren Bailey to Blago to Joe Rogan.

Noting that Blago had a Cameo account, which enables anyone to buy his services for about $200, Peters wrote a script and asked Blago to read it. He asked that Blago email the message to “Bob Peters.”

The message was addressed to “Dare Bear,” aka Darren Bailey, the Republican candidate for governor against J.B. Pritzker, who temporarily rented an apartment in the John Hancock building, so he can report what it’s like to live in what he calls the “inner city.” Here’s the script that Peters wrote.

“Hey Dare Bear, I know you just moved and it hasn’t been the easiest transition. I have really good news though. You are about to see an exciting new development at work. It is called the PFA [pretrial fairness act]. Everyone is so excited for when the PFA project goes live. The PFA will drastically improve the lives of your friends and family. This thing is ‘fucking golden!’ The PFA was worked on by a broad coalition at work. Dare Bear, I hope when you move back home that you don’t look at this journey as a failure but as an important learning opportunity about life. As the Rolling Stones say, [you] can’t always get what you want, but you get what you need.”

Blago read the script—quite convincingly, I might add—just as “Bob Peters” wrote it. Right on down to the “fucking golden” part.

Now, I can’t be surprised that Blago, a grifter from long ago, would contradict himself on the issue of pretrial bail in exchange for a few bucks. But he’s by no means the only MAGA man doing flip-flops these days.  

Up in New Hampshire, there’s senate candidate Don Bolduc. For the last year, Bolduc’s been a ferocious election denier, insisting the presidential election was stolen and Trump actually won.

Even though we all know that’s a lie and Joe Biden beat Trump.

At an August debate of Republican candidates, Bolduc refused a chance to back off on election denial, declaring: “damn it, I stand by [it].” 

On September 13 he won the primary. And two days later he flip-flopped, telling an interviewer, “I’ve done a lot of research on this, and I’ve spent the past couple weeks talking to Granite Staters all over the state from every party, and I have come to the conclusion—and I want to be definitive on this—the election was not stolen.”

Not sure what evidence he uncovered to change his mind, but I hope he shares it with other election deniers, including Trump, so they might also see the light.

My guess is Bolduc’s advisers told him he has no chance of unseating Democratic senator Maggie Hassan unless he backs off on the idiocy. So back off it he did.

Just as Blake Masters, a MAGA man running for senator in Arizona,recently “erased from his website some of his more emphatically right-wing stances on immigration, abortion, and the lie that the 2020 election was stolen,” as the New York Times put it.

In short, Masters canceled his own culture. Quick, call Joe Rogan!

Really, I don’t know how MAGA can stomach these flip-floppers. 

One day they say they’re against the SAFE-T act and the next day they’re for it. One day they say every fertilized egg is sacred and the next day they say it’s not. And one day they say we gotta stop the steal! And the next day they say there was no steal to stop.

Not sure which is worse—believing the bullshit they spout or spouting it just to win over MAGA. Either way they’re leaving tons of toxicity in their wake.

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