Hey, Faggot:

I’m a 39-year-old straight black man. A few years ago I placed an ad in a local paper for a sexy submissive white female, and a 30-something white female answered. She was my fantasy, always willing and eager to please. After one year I became bored with her. Like a typical man, I wanted to explore greener (or pinker) pastures, and I dumped her. As I approach the big 4-0, I desire another white submissive female. I’ve placed ads in various publications, but with no luck this time. Now I understand what a good thing I had ten years ago. I know there’s a sexy, submissive white female who loves black men somewhere in New York City. Please print this letter and include my E-mail address so such a woman could contact me. I’m older and wiser now, and I’ve learned my lesson. The next time I meet that special submissive woman of my dreams, I’ll treasure what I have.



Hey, Faggot:

I am a part-time male stripper in Philadelphia. I only get a bachelorette party about once every two months, even when I spend a lot of money on ads. I love the parties where they want me to dance nude. I am willing to do parties for free. How can I get more parties or find a place where I can dance nude for ladies for free? That’s right. I want to dance for free at bachelorette parties, office parties–anything–so long as it’s for women. I have a great body, and the ladies are always very pleased with the show.

–Male Stripper

Beeper: 609-427-7428

Hey, Faggot:

We saw your recent offer to print E-mail addresses from your readers in search of sex partners! Me and my friend play bondage games with each other, and every once in a while we get together with a straight boy who can’t find a girl to tie him up (or can’t find one who’ll tie him up for free). We have a great time with these straight boys! We don’t have sex with them or anything, just hot bondage scenes. Our offer: good, clean, Boy Scout bondage fun, with references available on request (to prove we’re not psycho killers or rapists). If you would print our E-mail address, straight boys who want to get tied up for real (no BS scarves or silk ties) in a fully outfitted dungeon could write to us. We’d be eternally grateful!



Hey, Everybody:

A few weeks ago, I mentioned I happily forward mail from one reader to another, provided I have an address on file. I also mentioned that, this being a modern column, I would print verifiable E-mail addresses at the bottom of letters so readers could contact each other directly, just like Time magazine or the New Republic. HOWEVER: I am not interested in turning my column into an extension of the personal ads. After I wrote about printing E-mail addresses, I got three hundred thousand letters like the three above–all from men. To be nice–and since there was obviously some confusion about what I’d meant–I drew three letters at random for publication. But after this week, no more. Use the personals, boys, that’s what they’re there for.

Hey, Everybody:

I’ve received tons of mail concerning BB, the woman who fantasized about chaining up her African-American boyfriend after seeing the film Amistad, and Freeing to Be Me, the black man who wrote in about his relatively positive experience with throwing derogatory names around during aggressive sex with his white girlfriend. Most of the folks who wrote in were offended by both BB’s fantasies and Freeing’s reasoning. Since the two columns in which we talked about the issue were skewed, as most of my columns are, in favor of “whatever makes you happy,” for balance here’s a sampling of some negative views on the subject:

What would Freeing to Be Me think of me if my African-American wife and I were to get off in a similar fashion? What would he think if I wrote in about how great it was to talk about my white dick, her black cunt, and me calling her “bitch”? I don’t think he would apply the words “courageous,” “bravery,” “trust,” and “understanding” to the situation.

BB is not an awful person, just a member of the European race. BB feels the call of her ancestors, which is to get off on the savage exploitation and abuse of non-Europeans. Her boyfriend cried during Amistad because he realized that he is fucking a descendant of the people who put his ancestors in chains. Here is my fantasy: that all European men become faggots; you all look that way already. As the breeding of Europeans ceases, humanity will be forever rid of the most savage, irrational, and unjust people that history has ever known.

I know “fag” isn’t nearly as horrendous a term as “nigger,” but in response to the recent back-and-forth concerning name-calling during sex: I had a boyfriend for two years who got off on calling me “faggot” and “cocksucker.” At first, I thought it was erotic and wild, but as time went on, the name-calling began to really bother me. The “game” got meaner and more personal the longer we were together until I had to break up with him. My self-esteem was in shreds, and it was almost a year before I could think about dating again. My advice concerning name-calling? Don’t go there.

I am a 31-year-old black man who was involved with a white woman. Once I pinned her arms behind her as we made love. She went crazy. When we talked about it later, she said that she was excited by being restrained and taken by a large, muscular black man. I asked her, What if I was white? She said it wouldn’t have been the same. I had always seen us as two people who cared for each other and happened to be of different races, and thought that we would have been together even if we were not of different races. But her comment made me realize that my race was an element of her attraction to me, and I didn’t necessarily see that as a good thing.

In closing, while I find the sexual issues concerning Amistad fascinating, it is curious that no one sent in a question concerning the sexualized class issues touched on in James “King of the World” Cameron’s Titanic. For instance, what exactly was meant by the fact that Billy Zane’s character–Rose’s wicked ‘n’ wealthy fiance–has plucked eyebrows? What was up with that? And while we’re on the subject of Titanic, I would like to lead you all in a moment of silent remembrance of the many victims. I refer, of course, to the young women all over the world who’ve subjected themselves to James Cameron’s profoundly dreadful screenplay 20 and 30 times just to drink in the lovely Leonardo DiCaprio. Talk about tragic.

Send questions to Savage Love, Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago 60611.