Hey, Everybody:

Last week, at Been There’s request, we heard from women on the subjects of (1) men coming on women’s faces, and (2) which tastes better, come or pussy juice? This week, at my request, we’re hearing from men regarding coming on women’s faces. For some reason, the letters women sent me on this subject weren’t nearly as stomach churning as these letters from men. After reading my mail early this week, I had to lie in a dark room for two days with a case of warm Coke and a bottle of aspirin with codeine. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED: Even by Savage Labs’ famously lax standards, these letters are pretty uniformly disgusting. Very disturbing stuff. If you can’t hack it, please pass your copy of this weekly paper on to an impressionable minor who can.

I am writing to explain why I like coming on my girlfriend’s face. Like most men I am visually oriented. Even as a young wanker, I enjoyed watching my come squirt out when I masturbated. It was really amazing to see something that I was feeling so intensely.

During one of my earliest blow jobs, I was naturally quite excited. When I ejaculated I came so much that some of it dribbled out of the corner of her mouth. To an inexperienced male it was visual proof that I was too much man for her.

Later, when I was having frequent sex, the volume of come per ejaculation wasn’t always enough to produce the desired result. So I started letting my cock slip out of her mouth to make sure I got some come on her lips. Occasionally I’d slip out too soon, and my come would splash across her cheek and dribble down her chin. There was something especially sexy about looking into my girlfriend’s eyes as I watched and felt my orgasm. Today, coming on her face is not something I have to do every time, but I get an extra thrill when we do it. Though nearly a third of the women I’ve been with have been willing to let me come on their faces, it is still something that many women won’t do. So on some level, I feel more loved and accepted by my partner because she is willing to let me do that.

Interestingly, a common complaint I’ve heard from women I’ve known is that while their guys wanted blow jobs, very few were willing to kiss their girlfriends afterward. I’ve always believed that I shouldn’t expect my partner to do anything I wasn’t prepared to do myself. So afterwards I always kissed my partner, licked my come off her face, and let her know how much I appreciated her.

–Tastes Great, Less Filling

Wow. He licks his own come off his girlfriend’s face? Is he a sensitive guy or some sort of freak?

Coming in a woman’s eyes after she has registered objections is inexcusably inconsiderate. But coming on a woman’s face is great, if it’s acceptable. Like any sex act, it can be made so and enhanced by communication before, after, and during the act. Suggestion for men thinking about this: kissing a woman’s face after coming and/or licking some/all of it off can make it much more desirable to a lot of women. –GTE

Two letters from men who lick their own come off women’s faces! There’s something happening here…

Provided a man has no blood-borne pathogens or a urinary tract infection, his semen is clean and wholesome, like unmilled wheat. The only organism you can grow from it is new Homo sapiens. Semen arrives neatly, like a UPS package, all in one moment. It doesn’t ooze all over the place for hours, like the Mississippi, carrying yeast infections. I was with a woman once who of her own accord went down and started licking my penis. She said, “Penises are so sexy!” I asked her if she would swallow my semen. She looked up, disgusted: “Would YOU swallow a man’s semen?” Stung, I began practicing, and now I can say yes, I would. It is the most elegant way to masturbate. Nothing is left over. When I’m with a woman, I do want to splatter on her face. I want to lick it off her face. I want to comb it through her hair. I want her to lick it off my belly. I want her to hold it in her mouth and come up and kiss me. –XX

My official member of the media trend-spotting decoder ring says that three people doing something equals a craze! Judging from the mail, “my own spunk” is the taste sensation that’s sweeping the nation!

After 20 years happily married, my wife would occasionally let me come in her mouth and on her face. Then one day, out of the clear blue, right after I pumped her pussy full of cream, she asked, “Honey, I didn’t come yet! Will you eat me?” First thing in my mind was, “No way!” Then, second thought: “How can I expect her to eat my come if I won’t eat it myself?” So, down between her thighs I went, and seeing my come oozing out, I timidly stabbed it with my tongue a few times and found it not so bad, then I gave her a good lick. She got so turned on, saying, “It’s so kinky!” I gladly gave her the licking of her life. Now it’s a big turn-on for both of us. When I hear my loving wife ask, “Sweetie, eat come out of my pussy, please?” or when she feels dominant, she’ll straddle my face about eight inches high and watch with much pleasure as the long, gooey strands slowly trickle onto my face, lips, and mouth. Now she asks me to come in her mouth.

–Good to the Last Drop

OK, that’s it. We’ve suffered enough. I got lots more like the letters above, but I’m not gonna share ’em with you. I’d like to thank the boys who took the time to write, but surely I speak for one and all when I say that I’ve had my fill. And while there must be guys out there who like to come on women’s faces without then licking their own semen off those faces, none of you bothered to put pen to paper. Or maybe all guys who dig coming on women’s faces do like to lick up their own come. Maybe guys into this are just flat-out in love with come: they want to see it leaving their dicks; they want to watch it land–splat!–on the wife or girlfriend’s face; and then, since they love their come so much that they can’t bear to be parted from it for very long, they lap it all back up. That’s my theory, anyway, and until I hear a better one I’m sticking to it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna take my codeine, my Coke, and my spinning head and go lie down.

Send questions to Savage Love, Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago 60611.