When I need distraction from the madness of our times, I turn to a particular bit by a comedian named Sarah Cooper.
And thank you, Mick Dumke, for sending that bit to me.
Cooper has been doing perfect lip syncs of the latest idiocy from our president. It’s really funny to watch Donald Trump’s words come out of Cooper’s mouth. I urge you to watch her videos—I’m sure they will help you, too.
Trump is, of course, a horrible human being with no redeeming qualities, and the faster we get him out of office, the better we will all be. But on occasion, he says something so batshit crazy that it’s sort of funny—in a dark and depraved way.
Like the recent riff that Cooper satirizes about “the Black people.” It takes place at one of those impromptu press conferences that Trump frequently holds as he’s about to board a helicopter whose engines are running, so it’s like he’s yelling to be heard above a vacuum cleaner. This gives him the opportunity to say what he wants while having an excuse not to take questions from reporters.
In this case, Trump said: “MAGA is make America great again. By the way, they love African American people. They love Black people. MAGA loves the Black people.”
Don’t blame me, folks. I’m just quoting the guy.
It’s that last line that gets me—“MAGA loves the Black people.” In one sentence, Trump turned a thing (the acronym MAGA) into a collection of people, while turning a collection of people into a thing (“the Black people”).
As you can see, I’m making a pitch to vote against Trump. But it’s not really a good time to make a campaign pitch, as everyone’s upset, though for vastly different reasons.
Black people are justifiably enraged that Derek Chauvin, a white Minneapolis cop, thought he could get away with killing George Floyd, a Black man, while being filmed. As if white people really don’t care what you do to Black people, even if they see it with their own eyes.
And white people are unjustifiably upset that Black people are so enraged over a white cop murdering a Black man.
Well, not all white people. Just many of the aforementioned MAGA species of white people.
For instance, when Chance the Rapper was pictured in the Tribune protesting George Floyd’s murder, some white guy from the suburbs felt compelled to write a letter to the editor saying something along the lines of: Hey, Chance, why don’t you protest when Black people kill Black people on the south side?
Then he threw criticism of Father Pfleger into the mix—just ’cause, well, why not?
So predictable. It’s the knee-jerk reaction MAGA has when they see Black people protesting racism.
It reminds me of the time Troy LaRaviere—president of the Chicago Principals and Administrators Association—was on my old radio show. He mentioned a Tribune story about the fact that police write more bike-riding citations in Black neighborhoods than they do where white people live.
The phone rang, and a caller said: “I didn’t vote for Trump, but . . . ”
I was like—uh-oh. Starting a comment with “I didn’t vote for Trump” is a little like starting one with: “Say what you will about Hitler . . .”
You know that what follows can’t be good.
And sure enough, the caller said something like: Hey, Troy, stop complaining about bike citations and start doing something about Black-on-Black crime.
So I suggested that white people try really hard not to respond to Black people protesting racism by telling Black people to do something about Black-on-Black crime.
In other words, stop trying to divert attention away from your unwillingness to take a stand against racism.
As soon as I said that, man, callers started giving me grief about political correctness and freedom of speech—a favorite MAGA talking point when they’re feeling aggrieved, which is pretty much all the time.
MAGA has a curious attitude about freedom of speech—they want it for themselves but no one else.
They certainly didn’t want it for Colin Kaepernick. I can’t recall MAGA protesting when the NFL banished Kaepernick for protesting police brutality by taking a knee during the national anthem.
Instead the reaction of MAGA was much like Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys, who commanded his players to “stand at the anthem, toe on the line.” Or else.
While I’m on the subject, want to know how much hatred white people had for Kaepernick for taking that knee?
In 2017, the Bears shunned Kaepernick—even though they desperately needed a quarterback—and instead spent over $18 million on Mike Glennon.
Not to pick on Mike Glennon—but he sucks! A team signing Mike Glennon over Colin Kaepernick tells you everything you need to know about the depths to which white people will go to avoid doing the right thing when it comes to fighting racism.
Hold on, just thinking about the Bears’s quarterback situation has gotten me so upset, I’ve got to watch that Sarah Cooper video again.
OK, back to my mission of rallying people to vote against Trump and for Joe Biden. President Obama agrees with me on this.
Of course, I remember Obama urging us to reelect Mayor Rahm. Which Chicago did. Only to discover that Rahm was concealing evidence of the murder of Laquan McDonald.
It was all on a videotape that Rahm fought like hell to keep from being released. Remember that?
Rahm had a chance to take a strong stand against a serious problem of police brutality. And instead, he buried it. Because he had to make sure he could get reelected so he could dole out more TIF handouts to his pals.
Now I see in the newspaper that Rahm is whispering advice to Joe Biden. Hey, Joe, do everyone a favor—don’t listen to what Rahm tells you!
Especially if he’s telling you to take Amy Klobuchar as a running mate. Oh, Lord, it will take more than a Sarah Cooper comedy bit to get over that. v