Restaurateur David Spade woos cellist Sophie Marceau in this schmaltzy comedy—whose funniest idea is that her character would have anything to do with his. Bilious put-downs pour out of him, but she appreciates the sensitivity he’s apparently hiding from everyone else. His way of getting to know her is to kidnap her dog, laying the foundation for a trendily scatological scene in this loser’s fantasy—a disappointing vehicle for the talented Spade, whose combination of grandiosity and self-effacement is made more ludicrous than sympathetic by the cartoonishly exaggerated desirability of the woman his character pursues. Jeff Pollack directed a screenplay by Spade, J.B. Cook, and Marc Meeks; with Jon Lovitz, Patrick Bruel, and Martin Sheen.