In this lame cross between The Fugitive and Bring It On, Tommy Lee Jones is mired in self-parody as a dour Texas Ranger assigned to house-sit a group of murder witnesses, five saucy, flat-bellied cheerleaders so clueless they need protection from themselves more than from the hit man stalking them. Director Stephen Herek avoids dirty-old-man jokes by casting Anne Archer as Jones’s love interest, but the image that best sums up this dismal comedy is Cedric the Entertainer cringing over a cell phone that’s been hidden in a cow’s rectum. PG-13, 97 min.