A spaceship crash-lands in eighth-century Norway, and two antagonistic passengers survive: Jim Caviezel (The Passion of the Christ) and a crummy knockoff of the critter from The Host. When the computer-generated beastie, called a Moorwen, begins massacring the subjects of two rival viking potentates (John Hurt and Ron Perlman, both phoning it in), Caviezel unites all the lusty, crusty medieval swordsmen against it. If this sounds like a laugh, guess again: writer-director Howard McCain bids fair to dethrone Uwe Boll as the king of crap action flicks, and every second feels like time on the cross. R, 115 min.