Credit: Keith Herzik

Readers, it may seem like every band in Chicago is heading to Austin next week to play the annual music-industry butt-fest known as South by Southwest, but it just ain’t so. Case in point: on March 19 and 20, south-side underground venue The Orphanage will host the Chicago is Bigger Than Texas Fest. You can see 12 local bands in two days and scarf down free pizza! We will totally strap on our pizza shoes and hit that shit up! Saturday’s highlights include trashy noise duo Patrick Thunder, sludgy grunge trio We Repel Each Other, and screechy garage-punk trio the Krunchies. Sunday’s show features doomy postpunks Grandfather Clock, glammy garage rockers Bag of Balls, and nuclear hardcore mutants Disrobe. The music hearing and pizza eating will commence at 6:30 PM, brothers and sisters. Just in time for dinner! For more info, hit up the Orphanage’s Facebook page at or e-mail

Amsterdam-based label Rush Hour is issuing a compilation of long-lost Chicago dance music. A collaboration between Rush Hour and pioneering local house DJ and producer Gene Hunt, Chicago Dance Tracks Vol. 1 features unreleased material from reels that area producers gave Hunt in the 80s. It includes cuts from Mr. Fingers, Farley “Jackmaster” Funk, and a pre-Kanye No I.D., back when he was going by just “Dion.” It’s due at the end of April.

Newbie Chicago trio Den play what they call “noise-swamped rock,” and after listening to their Soundcloud page (, this noise-swamped Wolf is prone to agree! Fans of husky feedback crunch a la Pissed Jeans and Sightings should find much to savor in Den’s brand of blistering scree. They’ll be playing at Pilsen DIY space Treasure Town on Tuesday, along with Divine Right, Narrow Mind, Risk, and headliners White Guilt. At the show you can scoop up a copy of their debut, the eight-song Bronze Fog; it’s also the inaugural release from local cassette label Retrograde Tapes.

Erik Roldan, eminence gris of the queer dance scene (Think Pink Radio, Chances Dances), has a new endeavor called Indie Parlour—not to be confused with the common condition “indie pallor”—that goes down at Parlour on Clark every Wednesday. This month, he’s booked a slew of lady DJs to pay tribute to those lovable creatures known as women! Why the special treatment for the gals? It’s Women’s History Month, y’all! The lineup for the rest of March features Nightschool (3/16), DJ Ang Garcia of People’s DJ Collective (3/23), and closes out with the Northern Lights Go-Go Gothic Dancers (3/30). And it’s all free!

Pilsen All-Star Band Alert: Seth Sher (Oakeater, Ga’an) has a new group with members of Cacaw and Cave called Zath. Speaking to Gossip Wolf, Sher describes it as “proggy thrash death metal.” This Wolf hopes that means they’ll sound like a cross between YES and DRI! The group is recording with plans for a summertime LP—what, no cassette? Sher is still at work on a forthcoming Ga’an album, and Oakeater recently dropped a split LP with Mamiffer—which features Aaron Turner of Isis and Hydra Head fame—on Turner’s new label, SIGE Records.

True story: Gossip Wolf used to be in a Van Morrison cover band called TB & the Astral Sheets. We rocked purple lace-up pants just like Van the Man did in The Last Waltz, and our flexible dancing and faithfully howled vocals earned us cash tips from the patrons of bowling alley bars from DeKalb to Danville! But it looks like there’s a new crew of Morrison interpreters in town, a cover band called Androgynous Mustache. On March 22 they’ll play two sets at Quenchers as mid-60s Morrison vehicle Them. Remember them? During the British Invasion they stormed up the American charts with “Gloria” and launched the Irish bard into the maw of a storied solo career. Without Them, Morrison never would’ve taught the world about brown-eyed girls, moon dances, and how young lovers do it. Anyway, it seems like Androgynous Mustache has this type of thing down pat; in the past year they’ve also played gigs as the Pretenders and Warren Zevon. Talk about flexibility!

Gossip Wolf is on Twitter: @Gossip_Wolf. Follow us—or better yet, tweet us all your group’s hot gossip, romantic follies, and secret shames—we’ll retweet, report, or make fun of them!