I live right down the street and come here all the time with my girlfriend. We were sitting here one night, and this guy invited us over to his apartment to drink some wine. He was very friendly. At his apartment, he kept talking about how big his unit was. We kinda laughed along. We figured out that he wanted to have a little threesome, but we ignored it. He kept saying, “Do you want to see my unit?” We politely said, “It’s time to go.” The following week we were here again, hanging with these out-of-town convention guys, and for some reason we started talking about big units and one of the guys offered to show us his and before you can say “puppetry of the penis” he whipped it out right under the table. Again we said, “We gotta go.” Then another time we met these guys from the restaurant show and went to the apartment of one of them and hung out. The host went into the bathroom and came out nude and in front of his friends said, “What do you think about my unit?” We weren’t that impressed and gave him our usual response: “We gotta go.” My girlfriend and I have been wondering: what is it about us that attracts all these units?

–Gay Mercer, flight attendant