My friend Peter and I were driving home around two in the morning. I was at the intersection getting ready to turn, and people were coming out of My Bar as it closed. There’d been a Cubs game that night, and they were screaming “Cubs rule!,” stuff like that. A woman and her boyfriend standing at the corner shouted “Go Cubs!” and Peter, because he was drunk and stupid, yelled out “Cubs suck!” I turned the corner and glanced over at him and noticed that he was bleeding from a big gash above his right eye. “What happened?” I asked, and he said that the woman ran up and punched him in the eye. I pulled over and got out and looked for the bitch to jump her. I ran over to Tai’s, the four o’clock bar, but couldn’t find her. I ran back to the car and there was a crowd surrounding Peter. As soon as I said “I’m on the phone with the police, get out of here,” everybody backed off. When the cops showed up they interviewed us and asked if we wanted to go into Tai’s to see if we could point her out. Peter went in with them but they didn’t find her. The officer told us that if Peter ever sees her again he can have her arrested, so we’ve been hanging out every night at Wrigley Field–and not because we’re Cubs fans.

–C.J. Anguiano, paralegal