Working night shift puts a dent in your nightclubbing, but it’s fair to say that on many occasions people from the nightclubs visit here. One night we had all kinds of overdoses. I was working in the ICU–we never get any young bodies over there. So we get a young body, a guy dressed all in black. He was an overdose on that date-rape drug, what’s it called? DHE or GBD or something. When we took his clothes off, he had a really nice body and a cock ring–you know, the Prince Albert kind. There was an older nurse taking care of this patient and she looked and said, “What the heck is this?” We all had to go look so we could identify it. Then later that evening we got this tiny blond girl in her early 20s–another OD. When she came in, we all had to look at her because she had these big fake boobs. So we strip her–we gotta have ’em naked except for their nightie, you know–and someone had stuffed Polaroids down her pants. They were provocative pictures of her naked by the pool, naked in the pool, and other pictures of her with Jerry Springer. We were passing the pictures around; this sounds terrible, but who wouldn’t do this? All the young male residents were coming to check it out. I found out later that the guy woke up, pulled out his breathing tube, and signed out against medical advice. The girl, I don’t know what happened to her. She’s probably moved on beyond Jerry Springer by now. She’s maybe in her grave.

–M., nurse