There’s this guy who comes in here every night without fail. He sorta smells like cabbage that’s sat around too long. He comes in and sleeps. We call him Sleepy Joe. He’s like the slowest man on earth–glaciers move faster than he does. It’s easy to miss him because he’s not very active. He’s kinda short, kinda chubby, but I think he wears like three coats. Sometimes he’ll flip through a book like the Kama Sutra–I was shocked–it was one of those scenes that you see and you sort of shudder to yourself. One night after closing up the store, we got outside, me and another guy. We locked the door and we headed our separate ways–he was going north, I was going south. It was weird–we each got about ten feet away from the store and we turned and walked back to the door. It was like we both sorta knew. I asked him, “Did you see Sleepy Joe leave?” and he said, “No, did you?” So we unlocked the store and went back in and sure enough, there he was, sleeping right between the sex section and the health food section. Now it’s become part of our closing procedure to check and see if Joe’s there.

–Greg Walker, bookstore manager