This is my first time here. They won’t let me smoke! We tried to crash the BMW party because they had really great gift bags. You want bar stories, huh? I started out at a place called Kronies, which became a western place and then it was Liquid and now it’s Kustom. Bars change names like Pamela Anderson changes breast sizes. I bartended and managed. My husband also worked there as a bartender. Then he got a job downtown. One night I went in to visit him when he was bartending and these guys were at the bar and they looked a little like rock stars–they had a presence. He asked them if they were with Lenny Kravitz’s band, because he knew they were in town. They’re like, “No, dude, we’re with Metallica.” I was kinda flirting with the little drummer boy, whose name was Lars. So Lars leans over to Wally and says, “So, where can I find some chicks?” and Wally says, “What kinda chicks?” Lars points to me and says something like, “How much do you think that one will cost?” Wally says, “You can’t afford it, trust me–that’s my wife.” Lars says, “I bet if we’d been with Lenny Kravitz’s band we could’ve afforded it.”

–Bette Stock, artist/tax accountant