I’m sitting here looking out the window wondering if the killer squirrel is still out there somewhere. I was walking near here at sunset when I just happened to see this little squirrel with its cheeks puffed out–like when they have nuts or something in their front claws or whatever. I instinctively made that little tsk-tsk-tsk sound you make when you look at cute little animals. This squirrel stopped what he was doing, looked up at me, then started bounding toward me–when he got really close I stopped walking. Then he jumped on my leg and ran up onto my face! I completely freaked out and punched him in the head with my right fist, and he fell to the ground, then immediately got up and turned to come at me again. I started running away, but the squirrel started chasing me and again ran up the back of my leg–this time he was crawling up my back and I reached over and knocked him off with my hand. I ran down the block, terrified–I wasn’t about to wait around for him to make a third attempt. When I glanced back quickly he was sitting there on the ground with a menacing look on his face. I’ve never walked down that street since that happened, and I’ve never looked at a squirrel the same way.
–Victor Salvo, Furniture Designer