I was invited to a football game by a friend who’s in the corporate world, and we got here early to tailgate, about 10 AM for a noon game. They put me in charge of making the drinks. I asked, “Where’s the Bloody Mary mix?” and somebody handed it to me. So I dumped in a lot of the mix and a lot of vodka–I know corporate guys like to tie one on. I made ’em extra strong, but it turns out that the Bloody Mary mix already had vodka in it–I was making quadruple-vodka Bloody Marys without knowing it. Naturally, within minutes we were all hammered, even more than we meant to be. I don’t remember much after that, but as we were playing touch football in the parking lot suddenly one guy broke his pinkie–I don’t know if it was on a football or a tailgate or a bottle of Bloody Mary mix. He still just wanted to see some Bears action. Who wouldn’t? –Will Okun, English teacher