Cameron Esposito, ringmaster for Chicago-based touring circus company El Circo Cheapo Cabaret and founder of the all-female stand-up course the Feminine Comique, takes us behind the scenes of her Friday night.

6:30 PM: Get in the shower and scrub up with the strongest-smelling men’s bodywash available. Gonna be a sweaty night.

6:45 PM: Try on clothes from my costume dresser. (Yep, I have a separate dresser.)

7 PM: My girlfriend dutifully draws elaborate “Battlestar Galactica” Kara Starbuck Thrace tattoo on my upper arm. My job: annoyingly ask her to draw faster.

7:20 PM: Head to the Metro for Battlestar Fantastica performance with both Terminator and Starbuck costumes in tow—and a few surplus wigs thrown in for good measure. Stop at bodega for cheap cigar to use for Starbuck costume realness.

8 PM: Arrive for show. Convince security I am in show with pile of wigs.

8:50 PM: Stare at naked people backstage while pretending to stare at wall behind them. Encounter Jar Jar Binks costume.

8:55 PM: Go over last minute hosting duties while cohost Jyldo affixes her pasties.

9 PM: Showtime! Solid hour of sci-fi themed burlesque and elaborate choreographed dance routines begins.

9:30 PM: Midshow costume change. Show off penguin-patterned boy briefs. Adult cheer squad Power of Cheer approves!

10 PM: Bow, greet screaming fans.

10:15 PM: Search for people who look just like me in the audience, because my sisters are at the show.

10:30 PM: Alien Queen kicks off. Yell/sing for an hour and a half and laugh heartily at Alien movie reference. Non-sci-fi-nerd sisters enjoy music, ask clarifying questions about jokes.

12:30 AM: Head from Metro to Pick Me Up Cafe to spend hard-earned paycheck on veggie chili. Judge vomiting floozies outside Wrigleyville bars while still wearing Terminator costume.

1 AM: Sisters decide to get milkshakes. Convince them that sisterhood requires tithe of their milkshakes to my mouth.

1:30 AM: Zoom over to Old Town to meet girlfriend after her sketch show in Second City Skybox.

1:45 AM: Arrive at post-Skybox celebration after last call. Drink half of someone’s abandoned red wine.

2 AM: Throw on conservative talk radio for the car ride home; kept alert by anger.

2:20 AM: Home for the night. Put on the movie Once to make sure heart still tender—and stress over the importance of true art.