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Afterparties
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1 PM Dude, I really, really love White Lung. I felt kind of funny getting into this record as much as I did because once my old band played a show with them and they were kind of rude to us. In retrospect, maybe we were the rude ones?
1:45 PM Pissed Jeans. I wouldn’t miss this band. Gnarly noise rock. The second coming of Jesus (Lizard).
2:50 PM For some reason I always thought Parquet Courts were Australian. They’re not. They are really, really good though.
4:45 PM Metz. Have you ever seen this drummer play? Holy crap!
5:15 PM Swans. Have you ever seen these drummers play? Holy crap!
6:15 PM The Breeders are forever one of my favorite bands, possibly kicking off my obsession with Ohio pop. Would never, ever, ever miss this.
8:30 PM True story: I once went to go see Belle & Sebastian at the Riviera and, honest to god, fell asleep. At this point I’ll be taking off to FirstMerit Bank Pavilion to catch Phish. KIDDING! It’s off to Rotted Tooth Fest.
1 PM A Blue Stage kind of day. First up, hardcore-metal Canadians in KEN Mode, who have been scuzzing up a van since the release of the unfuckwithable Entrench. A nosh of sardonic hate for Saturday brunch.
1:45 PM Book it to see Pissed Jeans. Pray Matt Korvette works himself into a puking frenzy.
2:35 PM Phosphorescent will sound serene while I’m camped 50 yards away in some shade, ice cream cone in one hand, funny cigarette in the other.
2:50 PM I’ll be catching Parquet Courts at Bottom Lounge tomorrow with Protomartyr. Find me at Flatstock.
3:50 PM Those? Those are the eye rolls I can’t stop while watching Merchandise swoon about with Morrissey-like gusto.
4:45 PM Metz for life, y’all. Witness a trio put those extravagant four- and five-piece bands to shame.
5:15 PM Michael Gira, intensity defined.
6:15 PM Sidle up next to Luca Cimarusti and revel in his hyperbole about the Breeders for a solid 20 minutes. Talk about Dayton, Ohio. Realize I’m talking about Dayton, Ohio. Stop immediately.
7:50 PM Finish day where it started, the Blue Stage. Lounge around while Andy Stott operates in front of mess of knobs. Hear a faint melody or two of Belle & Sebastian. Take off.
2 PM Wake up in hotel lobby downtown.
3 PM Commence mission to photobomb fashion bloggers.
4 PM I just wrote a Soulja Boy-inspired song called “Totes and Totes and Totes.”
4:15 PM Try to start a pit during the Savages set; no one wants to rage.
6 PM Cute girl in sundress: make eye contact, she smiles. #swag
7 PM So glad I wore this plaid shirt with bow tie combo.
8:30PM You’re my Belle and I’m your Sebastian pickup line doesn’t work. Bummed.
9 PM It’s so hard to dance with a belly full of funnel cake and pizza.