Dear Reader:

This is a letter in reply to a letter from an asshole, namely, Steve Albini [January 28]. Look, I agree that music critics, or generally any kind of critics live in their own little worlds and I usually don’t know anyone who agrees with them, but don’t confuse your arguments here. Ripping on bands just because the critics like them is, as you love to say, bullshit, and you damn well know it. It’s not their fault critics like them; it’s not their fault anyone likes them! I think (and this is an opinion) that you’re just maybe a little bit bitter because Slint didn’t get this much attention. Just because people like a band or a person doesn’t mean they’ve sold out or they suck, or they’re (here’s that word again) full of bullshit. I, along with many other people I know (none of whom are music critics) happen to like Liz Phair and the Smashing Pumpkins. I don’t personally care very much for Urge Overkill, but I have many friends who do. And we find quite a lot of value in all of their music, and I especially value Billy Corgan’s lyrics (try actually listening to them sometime), but I won’t go into that. The point is, while you are entitled to your own opinion, as we all are, frankly, I’m getting sick of your whining and railing against “bullshit” you can’t understand. Not understanding something is no reason to bash it into the ground. And also, just because people are into some of the bigger names doesn’t mean they let the smaller ones escape them. Babette’s Feast is a really awesome band, as well as the Spinanes, and Babes in Toyland, and Sun 60, and the Loved Ones, and Hip Deep Trilogy, and Big Hat . . . the list goes on and on forever. I listen to these people just like I listen to the Smashing Pumpkins and Liz Phair. My God, man, it’s all music. You can snicker and laugh your ass off all you want at this letter; I don’t really give a damn, because that means you at least read it, and some of this may sink through to you. You, personally, have made some damn good music in the past, but now it’s their turn. You still continue to make good music, too, so you really have no reason to be as bitter as you seem to be. There’s no way in hell their lyrics are any funnier than yours are/were. I personally admire your musical talent, but I still think you’re a major asshole because you have an extremely close-minded attitude. And I hate to tell you this, dearie, but you’re just as bad as those music critics you hate, because you jam your opinions down our throats like so much (here it is again) “bullshit,” just like they do. They may be “music-press stooges” and “pandering sluts,” but you are truly the King of All Whores if you were to be judged by your own standards. You wanna talk about media hype barrage, count the number of times your name has been in print since this time last year. All the Nirvana hype? And that big, national magazine naming you a “man of the year,” or some such? You have appeared in mass media at least as much as Liz Phair has. You, too, are springboarding yourself off of the success of the Smashing Pumpkins, and Liz Phair, and Urge Overkill, and making your merry way into the spotlight to ram more garbage down our throats.

Your little letter was highly entertaining, though, I must say. It’s very hard for me to imagine someone as close-minded as you seem to be making it as far as you have. You must be a very, very talented man. But I suggest you close your mouth once in a while and just listen to something, because otherwise you might choke on all the shit (I’m sorry; that should be “bullshit”) you spew forth into our laps.

Fuck you right back,

Jana Tatsushika


PS: In ten years, when some band you really love cites Liz, Urge, and/or the Pumpkins as major influences, you’re gonna feel low, man. Really low. Just remember that.