memos, hypotheticals, motorcycles
So Chris comes home today real angry. “Where is my computer an my TV an all my furniture an stuff and why is there a motorcycle in the driveway, did you sell all my stuff an my computer an my TV to buy a motorcycle?” he says. “I can’t remember,” I says. “Yesterday was so heady.” And it was! So very heady.
Chris produces a memo from me to Giblets.
FAFNIR: Hey Giblets think I should get a motorcycle?
GIBLETS: Totally. Chicks dig motorcycles.
“That was a hypothetical,” says Giblets.
“That’s true Chris,” says me. “Anybody can ask about a hypothetical motorcycle, it does not mean motorcycles were purchased.” Chris has more memos. Where did he get all these memos!
FAFNIR: If I got a motorcycle should I also get a helmet for safety? I am big on safety.
GIBLETS: Sure if you wanna look like a dork. Cause that’s what the helmet will make you look like. A dork.
FAFNIR: Would the theoretical chick-draw of the motorcycle outweigh the theoretical chick-drain of the helmet?
GIBLETS: Hard to say. In my professional opinion I believe the coolness of riding a motorcycle would be effectively cancelled out by lookin like a dork.
“That was more hypotheticals,” says Giblets. “Nary a non-hypothetical motorcycle to be found.”
“But aren’t you glad to know that if we did look at gettin a motorcycle we would have considered all the safety issues?” says me.
“Yes we are responsible Fafnirs and Gibletses,” says Giblets. “Who will not go around lookin like dorks.”
FAFNIR: How could I afford a motorcycle?
GIBLETS: How much do you have?
FAFNIR: I have three dollars, two M&Ms, and a packet of Rice Krispie treats. I really do not want to part with the M&Ms they have a great deal of sentimental value.
GIBLETS: You could sell all of Chris’s stuff.
FAFNIR: But Chris’s stuff is Chris’s! It would be cruel and bad.
GIBLETS: It is inherent in the power of Giblets to set aside stuff like that.
FAFNIR: Wow. That’s pretty nifty.
GIBLETS: I know. Bow before the inherent power of Giblets!
“Chris what you have there is a legal finding,” says Giblets.
“A consultation,” says me.
“Now all that means is that it was within Gibletsian law to sell your stuff and use it to buy a motorcycle,” says Giblets.
“But that doesn’t mean we actually sold your stuff and bought a motorcycle!” says me. “Least I don’t think we did.”
Chris gets all upset sayin “But there is a motorcycle!” which is really besides the point. I mean the memos just show that we talked about buyin a motorcycle, and the motorcycle shows that somebody bought a motorcycle but it doesn’t show who it was or how they did it or why. It is another mystery wrapped in a conundrum wrapped in a motorcycle.
Chris asks if we have a receipt for buyin a motorcycle. “I am not in a position to answer that question, and the receipt, if it exists, may or may not be classified,” says Giblets.
Chris looks all sad now. Chris, don’t be like that! If you cheer up you can ride our motorcycle.