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Baptism Removal Service

Courtesy of the Humanist Association of Canada

Reverse an old mistake! Sever your ties to religion completely! You have a choice of two tastefully styled baptism removal certificates. Either of the two instantly removes not only your baptism, but the effects of any and all religious rituals which may have been performed for you. In fact, they also block the effects of any future superstitious rites.

Of course, in reality, it is simply the recognition of the fact that reason and rationality have exactly that effect; your intelligence is what eliminates the effects of religion.

Satisfied customer Mary Booth writes:

Thank you for your wonderful baptism removal service. Since having my baptism removed my mind is more clear, the mornings seem brighter and food tastes sooo much better! Now, if I could only find a virginity restoration service I’d be all set for the second half of my life.

Certificate of Baptism Removal & Renunciation of Religion

This certifies that ______ has publicly renounced religion & made a commitment to reason & humanism. Therefore, the power of all religious rituals & superstitious rites which have been performed in the past, & which may be performed in the future, are of no effect, specifically, any act of baptism done on your behalf is hereby rendered null & void.

You are now subject to automatic excommunication.

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