Flat Sabbath: Ozzy Osbourne’s Sunday rendition of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” failed to inspire the boys of Wrigley, who lost 3-0 to Hideo Nomo and the Los Angeles Dodgers. In the Cubs’ defense, Ozzy was awfully hard to understand and the traditional exhortation “Let’s get some runs!” might have sounded like “Tweed-knuckle smackjacks!”

The White Line: The White Sox have been raising expectations for over a month but the Good Guys fell off the horse this week against the AL West. With the Sox on the road and the Demolition Derby in Joliet, Anaheim and Texas hit the Sox with their own version of the Malachi Crunch, taking six of seven from the sinking South Siders. The situation is especially dire as the White Sox have a limited number of games to catch the Royals before Billy Koch comes off the disabled list.

The Black Line (all Randall Simon edition): The Cubs added Randall “Sausage Slugger” Simon to the mix Saturday. The deal comes weeks after the additions of ex-Pirates Kenny Lofton and Aramis Ramirez and is part of GM Jim Hendry’s plan to improve his team by replacing it wholesale with a squad six games behind it in the standings. Simon, of course, is best known for hitting team mascots over the head with a bat; someone should warn Augie Ojeda. With first basemen Eric Karros and Hee Seop Choi already in the organization, Simon may be the most superfluous Pirate since Captain Hook sidekick Mr. Smee.