Credit: Lindsay D’Addato

Gery Chico

Selling point: It’s his second time running for mayor and it’s still unclear.

Come again? At the Mayoral Arts Forum earlier this month Chico called for “a plan for the arts in this city.” Upon being told that the city has had a major plan in place since 2012, he changed his tune: “It’s certainly time to refresh the plan!” 

Bill Daley

Selling points: Has friends in high places—like Ken Griffin, who just bought a $238 million NYC penthouse overlooking Central Park. Griffin gave Daley a million in mad money for the final two weeks of the campaign. Plus you know, the Obamas. Daley was WH chief of staff for one year. Oh, endorsed by Crain’s Chicago Business and the Tribune.

Come again? No, don’t, please—after 43 years under a Boss Daley, Chicago’s had enough.

Even more bonkers: Wants to combine CPS with City Colleges of Chicago.

But that’s not all! Calls for surveillance cameras on every corner.

Do you remember: As chair of Al Gore’s presidential campaign, he was the guy who convinced him not to pursue a recount any further in 2000.

Amara Enyia

Selling point: Support from Chance the Rapper and Kanye West could mobilize youth voters. Ran against Rahm in 2015 but didn’t make the ballot.

Come again? Accepted the endorsement of Cook County circuit court clerk and booted challenger Dorothy Brown despite ongoing federal grand jury investigation into Brown’s office.

And a second come-again: That big campaign contribution from Trump bud Kanye West.

Bob Fioretti

Selling points: Redistricted out of his old Second Ward seat for being too much of a maverick and actually opposing bad TIF deals. Had the guts to run against Rahm in 2015. Buddy Guy gave him $500,000.

Come again? Right after the 2015 mayoral election, lost a ton of credibility by endorsing Rahm. Buddy Guy’s a nice friend to have, and we wish Bob well, but who is his base?

La Shawn Ford

Selling points: He’s a state representative who genuinely cares about his west-side constituents.

Come again? Yes, please do! We need a mayor for Chicago, not for a “global Chicago” that panders to tourists with boutique hotels and Architecture Biennials and O’Hare express trains.

Jerry Joyce

Selling points: Biggest donor is his wife, a Filipina-American physician at UChicago Medicine whom he met when they were at Yale.

Come again?I oppose any municipal tax.” 

John Kozlar

Selling point: Has no big donors.

Come again? Is Chicago ready for a 30-year-old mayor?

Lori Lightfoot

Selling points: Endorsed by the Sun-Times, reform-adjacent on issues from taxation to police reform to affordable housing. Might seem humorless and impersonal but likes Al’s Italian beef and has a dog named Hank. Would be the city’s first black lesbian mayor.

Come again? So where exactly does she stand on, e.g., lifting the statewide ban on rent control?

And a second come-again: Where was her independence all those years heading the Chicago Police Board?

Garry McCarthy

Selling point: Would take on one of the major obstacles to police reform: the Fraternal Order of Police.

Come again? We didn’t like Rahm as mayor much either, but that hardly seems enough to fuel four more years in this town.

And a second come-again: “What makes me feel safe . . . is the confidence that I am surrounded by a well-trained, disciplined, and community-oriented police force.”

Susana Mendoza

Selling points: Throws shade in an impeccable Chicago accent without swearing like a sailor. Familiarity with the ropes of City Hall and experience as state rep, city clerk, and now state comptroller should help her handle the city’s ongoing financial and pension crises.

Come again? Got married at the house of Alderman Ed Burke with his wife, Illinois Supreme Court justice Anne Burke, officiating.

Toni Preckwinkle

Selling points: Commendable track record as Cook County Board president; pragmatism, common sense, and sensible suits are like body armor. Got reelected despite the pop tax fiasco and her machine ties.

Come again? Not just connected to Ed Burke—including hiring Burke’s son Mr. Rush Street to a six-figure job—but a staunch defender of former Cook County assessor Joe Berrios. With friends like those and a mismanagement-prone staff, who needs enemies?

Even more bonkers: Exaggerated her role in getting the Laquan McDonald tape released to score points with voters.

Neal Sales-Griffin

Selling point: Made it onto the ballot.

Come again? But why?

Paul Vallas

Selling points: Has a white paper for every occasion; vows to sweep the city free of corruption and put a broom in every hand.

Come again? “My affordable housing plan removes obstacles for landlords converting unimproved spaces into high-­quality, affordable garden-unit apartments.”

Willie Wilson

Selling points: Self-funded; might bail you out of jail or pay your property tax bill.

Last word: We already have one executive who ran on his business expertise screwing us. (By the way, Wilson voted for Trump.)  v