Since Ms. Armstrong will be packing up and leaving an empty space in the Chicago Reader and our hearts,
I thought maybe I could throw a new idea at you. I’d like to propose my column, Chicago B.M. It will showcase my bowel movements: the color, shape, size, and whether it floats or sinks. I think it’ll be edgy, something new for the kids to chew on. I could even go on location and track down the hottest poop in town! So, what do you think?