Lead Stories

In October self-described virgin Doreen Lioy, 41, exchanged vows in San Quentin prison’s waiting room with 13-time murderer Richard Ramirez (California’s notorious “Night Stalker”). It’s the first marriage for both. She wore white; he wore blue. She was raised Roman Catholic; he’s a satanist. His guests included three relatives; her family refused to attend. Lioy said Ramirez proposed in 1988, but it wasn’t until recently that she thought he was ready to settle down (presumably because he just got out of several years’ solitary confinement). Said one observer, “Doreen brings out the best in Richard. They complement each other.”

Italian justice (continued): Italy’s highest appeals court ruled in September that “occasional episodes of wife beating…interspersed with moments of [marital] harmony” did not amount to illegal domestic violence, which it said requires “systematic and deliberate” overpowering.

Overcoming disabilities: In September a man in a wheelchair attempted to rob a bank in Frankfurt, Germany, when he was thwarted by a customer who tipped him over. During the same month in Pompano Beach, Florida, another man in a wheelchair also tried to rob a bank. This time it was a cop who tipped him over. And in East Providence, Rhode Island, police arrested Bronna-Jo Carmody in September for drug trafficking out of her apartment, where she is confined because of her dependence on an oxygen machine and crutches.

The Weirdo-American Community

Lynne Plaskett, 46, who is running for reelection as a county councilwoman in New Smyrna Beach, Florida, said on the Maury Povich show in September that she was cured of the often fatal T-cell lymphoma 20 years ago by a small UFO disk that hovered over her bed and scanned her body before disappearing.

Stock-car-racing legend Richard Petty, who is running for North Carolina secretary of state, paid a $65 fine in September for improperly bumping a car that wouldn’t let him pass on Interstate 85. According to a state trooper, Petty said that if the driver got in front of him again he was going to knock his “rear end” off the road. Petty told a reporter, “Now if it had been a NASCAR showdown, [the driver] would have been over in the ditch somewhere.”

Robert Dorton barricaded himself in his residential motel room in Billings, Montana, in August and held police off for more than 30 hours, firing dozens of shots at them, because he feared authorities were about to take away his 15 pet rats, some of which were reported to be the size of cats. Before the siege, according to animal-control officer Mary Locke, Dorton kissed one of the rats and referred to the rodents as “my brothers.” Right then, she said, “I knew what I was up against.”

School bus driver Kerri Lynn Patavino, 28, was convicted of statutory rape in Bridgeport, Connecticut, in August after having sex with a 14-year-old passenger, who said she put a spell on him and made him lick her blood. According to the boy, the two had sex more than a dozen times, and she sent him love letters signed in blood.

In June Esyededeea Aesfyza, 46, was sentenced to six months in jail for painting swastikas at more than 100 public places around Washington, D.C., during a three-year period. In court, Aesfyza, dressed in a long white robe with a green sash, expounded on his love of swastikas, saying he prayed to them and saw them as a symbol against circumcision.

Government in Action

According to documents obtained by a Canadian magazine in August, Canada’s military representative in the U.S., Major General Donald Williams, improperly billed taxpayers for such expenditures as civilian clothing, golf-course greens fees, and armpit waxing for his wife.

In June the government of Saskatchewan said it was unable to return to the manufacturer almost 1,000 five-inch-long “wooden demonstrators” designed for school condom-education classes. Schools refused to use them, and opponents of the program called for disposal via a “weenie roast.”

First Things First

Jimmy Hogg, 77, collapsed and died of a heart attack in September on the first hole of a Fife, Scotland, golf course. His four partners paused briefly as an ambulance took the body away, then resumed their round, with one making the requisite statement, “I’m sure Jimmy would have wanted us to do that.” And earlier in the month, Arthur Mooney, 67, died of a heart attack in the Spirit Mountain Casino in Grand Ronde, Oregon. Customers continued to play slot machines while the body lay nearby on the floor for an hour.


Wayne Dumond made News of the Weird in 1988 when he won $110,000 in an invasion-of-privacy lawsuit against an Arkansas sheriff. Vigilantes had castrated Dumond, an alleged rapist, and the sheriff had displayed Dumond’s privates in a jar on his desk as a souvenir, which a jury said was unnecessary ridicule. In 1990 the parole board recommended Dumond be freed based on DNA evidence that showed it unlikely he had committed the rape, but then-governor Bill Clinton, who was a friend of the victim’s mother, rejected the recommendation. In September Governor Mike Huckabee ordered that Dumond be released.

Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustration/Shawn Belschwender.