If you grew up Unitarian in the 60s like I did, you know the root of PC is shame on you. Our government is killing innocent peasants…and you’re worried about the prom. They killed Medgar Evers…and you want to go shopping!

On Halloween, you didn’t think about candy and fun like the other kids. No, you went door to door randomly shaming adults in their own homes for not caring about the starving kids in Africa.

Oh honey look! Are you a scary witch?

Trick or Treat for Unicef!

What’s Unicef?

The United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund! One penny buys a child milk for a year. One nickel buys a polio shot!

Well…you kids just…take this Snickers bar for now–

And there it is. The people in the house with the green shutters are prejudiced. They want the kids in Africa to get polio.

If you grew up PC, you participated in social experiments like these: This is your baby-sitter for tonight, kids. She doesn’t speak English and she has a physical disability so she can’t discipline you in the strictest sense of the word, but if you kids act up it shows how bad you are.

Or: Now you make friends with those kids down the street. Sure they’re the wrong age and gender and maybe every once in a while they take something that doesn’t belong to them. But if you don’t play with them you’re prejudiced and the blood of the four little girls who died on Birmingham Sunday is on your hands.

When I was growing up, people asked, What do you Unitarians believe in–God? Jesus?–and for the answer I gave back then (“Brunch”) I apologize. I overlooked the ACLU. The NAACP. Planned Parenthood. Peter Paul and Mary. Turtlenecks. Craft shows. Anything Quaker. And Unicef.

But this Halloween, I’m doing the scary witch!