August 28, 11 PM, 3800 block of North Greenview. Burglary. Man returned home from Romania to find house ransacked. He told police that he’d given keys to sister-in-law while he went on honeymoon. He added that on honeymoon, wife had left him stranded and cleaned out $14,000 from his bank account.

September 14, 9:20 PM, 600 block of North LaSalle. Criminal damage to vehicle and mob action. Encouraged by two friends, man who was riding bike at gas station attempted to jump bike over car parked at gas pump. He failed, and instead dented car’s right front fender. Car’s owner called police, who found offenders nearby and arrested them.

September 16, 12:45 PM, 1000 block of West Oakdale. Assault. U.S. postal carrier discovered green relay postal box on its side. Mailman asked construction workers at nearby site to set box upright. One replied, “You pick it up, bitch!” Mailman replied that he is no one’s bitch. Worker pushed him and used a “racial slur” to describe him. Mailman called police, who arrested worker.

September 16, 1:50 PM, 900 block of West Fletcher. Assault. Man moved garbage cans in front of neighbor’s garage in order to open his own garage. Neighbor ran toward man, yelling obscenities and brandishing knife. Man called police and neighbor fled. When police arrived, neighbor refused to open his door. Police advised man to seek warrant.

–Neal Pollack