Monday, April 28, 5000 block of N. Marine, 10:05 PM. Assault. 23-year-old female offender was observed videotaping two males walking dogs in park. “I’m filming you yuppies,” she stated. Asked why, offender approached victims wielding a large steak knife. “I will take this to phase two,” she said. “I will stab you.” One victim subdued offender after chasing her one block, sustaining scraped knee.

Wednesday, April 30, 200 block of N. Michigan, 9 PM. Battery. Male victim walking north while talking on cell phone was approached from behind by 40-year-old male offender. “Why are you pointing that phone at me?” asked offender before punching victim in eye. Offender was arrested; victim refused medical attention.

Thursday, May 22, 200 block of N. Sangamon, 1:30 PM. Theft. Three unidentified males and one unidentified female were observed pulling up behind victim’s parked trailer truck in a van. Male offenders exited, opened rear trailer door, and removed three 40-pound boxes of chicken worth $150 before fleeing south.

Friday, May 23, 100 block of N. LaSalle, 10:35 AM. Trespassing. Male offender caught crouching on toilet seat in women’s rest room on seventh floor of City Hall.