March 1, 1:50 AM, 1200 block of North Halsted. Robbery. Man was approached by two women who asked him if he wanted to have a good time. Man said no. One woman pulled out knife and ripped man’s coat. Both went through his pockets, taking checkbook and $30. Man heard one shout “Down, down, Satan!” as they fled.

March 1, 7:30 PM, 4300 block of North Lincoln. Burglary. Man returned home to find that apartment had been broken into. He opened refrigerator, where he usually kept $30,000 wrapped in tinfoil. Money was missing. Man wouldn’t tell police why he kept money in fridge.

March 4, 10:30 AM, 5000 block of South Blackstone. Aggravated battery. During high school floor-hockey game, gym teacher attempted to bench female student. She refused to sit. Teacher tried to take student’s hockey stick. Student walked away, turned around, and shot puck at teacher’s forehead. Puck connected. Teacher pressed charges.

March 7, 6:30 PM, 800 block of West Addison. Theft. Two men met in gas station parking lot to consummate used-car deal. Buyer put hand in jacket as if he were holding gun and told victim to hand over keys. Victim flagged down squad car, which was sitting at police station across street. Police chased suspect and found him hiding under stairwell nearby.

–Neal Pollack