January 30, 8:00 PM, 4700 block of North Harlem. Battery. Perpetrator approached another man leaving Kmart and said, “I remember you from karate class ten years ago. You poked me in the eye. Now I’m going to kill you.” Suspect rammed shopping cart into victim’s legs. Victim later told police he’d never taken karate.

February 8, 8:05 PM, 7600 block of South Cicero. Robbery. Two men in car ordered food at Wendy’s drive-through. Driver stuck his head in take-out window and said, “Hey, you forgot my fries.” He pulled a gun and got away with $402.

February 11, 9:25 PM, 7100 block of South Oakley. Filing false police report. Woman called police and said a man was in her home pointing a gun at her. When police arrived, she told them there was no gun, the man was her husband, and she just wanted them to tell him to quit drinking.

February 21, 11:30 PM, 1000 block of East 55th. Attempted robbery. Suspect approached 18-year-old student and demanded his wallet, which contained only credit cards and ID. Suspect gave it back and apologized.

–Neal Pollack