March 25, 11 AM, Harlem-Irving Plaza. Shoplifting. Man attempted to leave Best Buy without paying for $3,400 computer system. Suspect showed security guard false receipt and was brought to security office, where he placed receipt in mouth. Five-minute struggle ensued, and he was eventually handcuffed. He then spit out chewed-up receipt.

April 9, 1:10 PM, 3100 block of North Halsted.

Attempted robbery. Man entered Chinese takeout restaurant and ordered food. Then he laid a handgun on the counter and told employee to clean out cash register. Employee, who mainly speaks Mandarin Chinese, instead asked man for $10.77 to pay for his meal. Man took gun from counter, told employee he would return, and fled.

April 9, 3:20 PM, 6700 block of North Sheridan. Theft. Man stole bicycle from outside music store. Witnesses gave chase but could not catch suspect. A half hour later, suspect entered lobby of his own apartment building and attempted to sell bicycle for $20 to one of the people who had chased him. Police were called and made the arrest.

April 10, 11 PM, 4800 block of North Harlem.

Theft. Two men took several movies from Blockbuster. They could not be identified because the videotape in the store’s security camera had jammed.

April 24, 2:15 PM, 7100 block of North Sheridan. Criminal damage to property. Customer at gas-station convenience store became irate over price of cigarettes. He destroyed 12 bottles of ginseng beverage and fled. Bottles were valued at $3.99 apiece.

–Neal Pollack