Sunday, August 5, 1:35 AM

dispatcher: 1323, says the gang members are about to fight on the corner of Cortez and Wood. Comes in from Mr. Crystal Ball.

1322: 1322. I’m writing a parker right at Cortez and Wood and I don’t see anything right here.

Dispatcher: ’23, ’22 says he’s writing the parker over there–’22, you’re not a gangbanger, are ya?

1322: I hope not.

Sunday, August 5, 10:05 PM

dispatcher: Heh-heh, they’ll call in about almost anything….1931, this is comin’ in as a disturbance: 26– North Marshfield, neighbor playing extremely loud animal sounds.

1931: Ten-four.

Thursday, August 9, 2:30 PM

dispatcher: In the district and on simulcast, got a person with a gun at 29– Harrison, supposed to be a male beatin’ a woman, supposed to have a gun, wearing a white tank and blue shorts. Eleventh district, zone ten. 1135?

1135: Yeah, me and ’45, we’ll head over there. It’s probably malarkey.

dispatcher: Ten-four.

1135: Send it to our screen. Don’t put it on simulcast.

dispatcher: Thanks for telling me how to do my job.

Unidentified caller: Get him, Dawn, get him.

1135: Hey, easy there, peanut gallery…

Unidentified caller #2: Can’t believe he used the term “malarkey.”

Dispatcher: OK, the water department’s askin’ for help at 34– Ogden. They’re going to replace the fire hydrant…you’re saying it’s fixed, right?

Unidentified caller #3: Yeah, squad, when they get there they can call.

Dispatcher: OK.

Unidentified caller #4: We’re sittin’ here right now, so he might as well get his little patootie over here.

Dispatcher: Can’t believe you said “patootie.”