Tuesday, May 23, 10:50 PM
Dispatcher: 1053? Assault just occurred, 22– 24th Street, first floor rear. Complainant caught a couple having sex on his property, asked them to leave, and the man threatened to burn down the house. 1053?
1053: Yeah, see if the complainant on this is gonna come out.
Dispatcher: Give him a call.
Dispatcher number two: For your information, 1053, the complainant doesn’t want to talk to you. He just wants you to handle the situation.
1053: All right, squad, I found ’em.
Unidentified Caller: Handle the situation.
1053: They don’t want me to join in.
Dispatcher: You’re sick, you’re real sick.
Wednesday, May 24, 12:05 AM
Dispatcher: Ma’am, could you ride on a domestic, please, 45– Whipple in the backyard? Caller’s saying the father is not supposed to be on the property–male Hispanic wearing a construction helmet and a multicolored cape. Carryin’ a cup.
942: A cape, huh?
Unidentified Caller: The Village People.
942: I’m taking this man with a cape to Mount Sinai.
942: Yes, he does wear it.
Dispatcher: OK. Do you know why?
942: That’s why we’re goin’ to Mount Sinai.
Unidentified Caller number two: Helps when you’re flyin’.
Wednesday, May 24, 12:30 AM
Unidentified Caller: Yeah, you need one rock there.
Unidentified Caller number two: You shut your mouth.
Unidentified Caller number three: Hey, night guys: only way you can make an arrest.
Unidentified Caller number four: Shut yer pie hole.
Unidentified Caller number three: The night lump-lumps can’t handle third watch.
Unidentified Caller number five: Rock–roll.
Unidentified Caller number three: Pie hole.