Tuesday, January 5, 11:05 PM

Dispatcher: 2106.

2106: My computer says this call came in at 21:46. How come you waited an hour to give it to me?

Unidentified Caller: She didn’t know if you could handle it.

Unidentified Caller number two: Shut up, psycho.

2106: There some reason for that hour delay, squad?

Dispatcher: Ah, I don’t know the reason why you didn’t get it from the third watch, but I can speak for the first watch, and that is because we had priority jobs to get out before this one.

2106:How are we gonna do our [static] job, that’s what!

Dispatcher: OK, well, I don’t want a verbal confrontation today. If you need your sergeant over there, I’ll be more than happy to send your sergeant.

Unidentified caller:Tell it like it is!

Unidentified caller number two: Yeah, whatever.

Thursday, January 7, 11:45 PM

854: Squad, it sounds like he’s in the apartment kickin’ the door in.

Unidentified caller: Maybe he was trying to get in.

Dispatcher: 854, she just told us that he kicked in the back door trying to get in.

854: You said he kicked in the door, right?

Dispatcher: That’s what she told us.

854: But he’s still trying to get in? What’s he got, a screen door he can’t get through?

Unidentified caller: Smitty, you know better than to try to figure out the stuff that goes on these days.

Unidentified caller number two: Well, you know how it is. You know Smitty’s a philosopher.

Unidentified caller: I know, I know. He’s got to question everything.

Unidentified caller number three: It’s called c-a-p, cap. I mean, c-a-p-s, CAPS.

Friday, January 8, 12:20 PM

Dispatcher: 43.

1343: Make that an 11-Paul. When spring comes, and the thaw, I’ll check it out better.