Wednesday, January 14, 12:05 PM

Dispatcher: 2513?

2513: Yeah, how about a little lunch? 69– W. North Avenue.

Dispatcher: Go ahead, 13.

2513: Also, can I get a little favor?

Dispatcher: What d’ya need?

2513: Notify Streets and Sanitation that there’s about four or five big potholes by a sewer and cars are losin’ hubcaps. Tell ’em it’s the fifth day that we’ve called it.

Dispatcher: That’s how long they’ve been out there? My goodness. Ummm…

2513: The hole is maybe about four feet long, two feet wide, and about four inches deep. It surrounds the sewer, and it’s spreading.

Unidentified Caller: Quit talkin’ about me, Wally!

Unidentified Caller Number Two: That your pants size, Wally?

Unidentified Caller Number Three: Wally don’t know what a little lunch means.

Wednesday, January 14, 12:45 PM

Dispatcher: 69-David, did you just put a 19-Paul in the computer?

2569-D: Well, squad, that’s the only way I know how to clear that thing off. Tellin’ ’em that we’re not involved other than assisting doesn’t help.

Dispatcher: All you have to do is put “clear,” ’cause you just wiped out the whole job. For future reference all you have to do is just put a c in there.

2569-D: That c, is that for “stupid computer?”

Unidentified Caller: Just a c for “incompetent.”

Friday, January 23, 11:05 PM

Dispatcher: 956. A disturbance at 46– Western inside the bar, a male Hispanic, very intoxicated, refusin’ to leave. And I guess instead of hands he has two hooks, and he’s hooking people violently and hitting the customers.

956: Get out.

Dispatcher: That’s exactly what it says.

956: All right, we’ll go see about these clippers.

Unidentified Caller: Wanted for hooking?

Unidentified Caller Number Two: Is that a penalty?