Saturday, April 4, 11:00 PM

Dispatcher: 1122?

1122: 22, squad.

Dispatcher: 22– Monroe, apartment 1308. You know what? Don’t do anything 22, just hang on–we’re gonna call CHA and see if they can’t handle their work.

1122: Thank you very much, sir.

Dispatcher: I ain’t makin’ no guarantees, we’re just gonna see….22, I tried, but they say they got nobody. They’re payin’ lots of guys to cruise around to do nothin’. See, the complainant got a disturbance with the father, she’ll be down in front.

1122: Ten-four, squad. They just want the real police, that’s all.

Dispatcher: They knew it would be you so that’s why they waited.

1122: That’s right.

Unidentified caller: I beg to differ.

Saturday, April 4, 11:50 PM

dispatcher: Units in Two, units on citywide, we’re getting a person with a gun, person with a gun. Got an address of 5101 S. Wentworth, 5101 S. Wentworth.

Unidentified caller: 5101 S. Wentworth is the police station!

Dispatcher: I’m just readin’ this…um, it says…um, disregard units, disregard.

Sunday, April 5, 12:10 AM

Dispatcher: 1111, all the ones, 10– N. Ridgeway, complainant says she got a disturbance with the intoxicated neighbor bangin’ on the fence. I bet he’s whizzin’ on the fence is what I bet he’s doin’.

1111: Ten-four, squad.

Unidentified caller: That was him shakin’ it dry.

Dispatcher: Oh yeah, sure. Probably got it caught in the fence. 1052, 1052?

1052: 1052.

Dispatcher: 25– Drake by the lounge, the gangbangers are tryin’ to take over the bar.

1052:We’ll buy ’em a drink, ten-four.

Dispatcher: 1031, 1031?

1031: 31.

Dispatcher: 1031, oh, I know you’re gonna be devastated when you hear this. 32– S. Harding, out in front, caller states that there is a couple having sex in a white pickup truck. Out in front o’ her house!

1031: Ten-four, we’ll go over. I think it’s my partner’s sister there.

Unidentified caller: Anybody seen Mulligan?

Dispatcher: I wanted to say that, but I just didn’t have the heart.

Unidentified caller number two: Doesn’t make her a bad girl, now does it?

Dispatcher: Yeah, I went with girls like that in high school.

Unidentified caller number three: We all know some girls like that.

Unidentified caller number four: Might be your ex-old lady.

Dispatcher: That’s why she’s my ex-old lady.