Tuesday, February 4, 9:10 PM

Unidentified caller: Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty. O.J. Simpson is found liable.

Dispatcher: Make sure that’s bona fide, and if that’s the verdict, make sure you use extreme caution. If anyone sees anything suspicious like large crowds gathering, put it out on the air right away, and if we have to we’ll reserve the zone for emergencies.

Unidentified caller: Yeah, he’s guilty.

Another unidentified caller: O.J.’s guilty!

Unidentified caller number three: Oh yeah!

Unidentified caller number four: Be sellin’ rock now!

Friday, February 14, 11:20 PM

Dispatcher: 1744, got a domestic for you,

46– Kedvale. Citizen states he saw a man and woman fighting on the street and that the man dragged her into that house. There’s nothing further. Happy Valentine’s Day to everybody out there.

1744: You too–have a good one.

Dispatcher: I accept coffee, doughnuts, flowers, cards, and whatever.

Unidentified caller: You’ll get whatever.

Dispatcher: Drinks in the morning.

Unidentified caller: But what do we get?

Dispatcher: Drinks in the morning.

Another Unidentified caller: It’s Valentine’s Day–how come we’re still gettin’ domestics?

Wednesday, February 19, 5:55 PM

Dispatcher: 354, check out a disturbance at 28– West Madison. Seems we have a child caller at the pay phone on the corner–he’s calling for his parents, who are both deaf. He’s having problems with teens in the area. I have no name.

1354: You say he’s calling for his parents, but they’re deaf?

Dispatcher: Ten-four.

1354: And you think they’re gonna hear me?

Dispatcher: Maybe he can translate for you.

1354: I’m kidding. Ten-four.