Monday, May 5, 10:55 PM

1040: Right now we just got a large, unruly crowd and there’s bodies everywhere. But as of this time we’re getting a little help, things are calmin’ down, we’re getting the crowds back. We’re just tryin’ to figure out how many we actually have shot, it looks like two possible fatals at this time.

Dispatcher: OK 40, you got 5410, 5405, and a couple other carloads of dicks comin’ to help ya….We got 20 cars over there–everybody else, there’s about 65 jobs you could probably handle in the next few minutes. What do you think?

Unidentified Caller: I’ll take a couple.

Tuesday, May 6, 12:10 AM

1123: What else you got?

Dispatcher: Oh, there’s lots more. I’ve got old domestics hanging around, and this has got to be taken care of: 11– N. Ridgeway, the husband’s returnin’ and he’s gettin’ stupid again.

1123: OK.

Dispatcher: 1171, 1171, at 10– N. Springfield, person with a knife. Sister and brother are doin’ the slice and dice.

1171: Ten-four.

1121: 1121. This last one never came up, make it an 18-boy.

Dispatcher: Give you a vacation.

1121: Not long enough.

Dispatcher: Guess not. Take a ride to 41– Marsh…excuse me, got to get my tongue straight, 41– Washington, see the landlord regarding a former tenant. Now 1125, 1125? Uh, this sounds like a dupe. Yeah, this is a dupe, this is a dupe…

1121: Make that Washington a 19-Paul, unfounded.

Dispatcher: Now you’re clear?

1121: Yes.

Dispatcher: Only for a minute, my dear, only for a minute. Take a look at this: 9– Saint Louis, a disturbance on the street, got a drunken man–must be an ex-dispatcher. I’m sure of it now.

Tuesday, May 13, 10:00 AM

Dispatcher: 2513? I heard about your episode with the three billy goats gruff.

2513: What?

Dispatcher: Sorry, it was on your beat but it might not have been you. Somebody found a headless goat.

2513: Oh. Hey, how’s Natasha doin’?

Dispatcher: She’s incredibly well, happy, baby’s fine; leaving the hospital today. If it was me, I’d stay in there for a month.

Unidentified caller: What’s so hard about having a baby?

Dispatcher: I screamed, but that was at conception.