Wednesday, July 30, 10:20 AM

Dispatcher: 2512, what have we got here? We’ve got, oh man, is this thing long! Oh God, I wish you had a computer. It’s a suspicious person–like, some of these jobs don’t say nothing, this one says too much. 7— Grand, they’re callin’ from Goodwill over there. OK, it’s Ms. —-, some man is following her and insists she get into his car–small red car with male, older, with heavy tank top. He has an accent, wearing a hat, also a tattoo on his arm. He is telling her to lift her skirt so he can see her body because he will pay good money for it and all kinds of dirty things. She is hiding in the Goodwill store until the police get there. All right? See her at the Goodwill, and if you see a guy in a small red car, he is the guy.

2512: Sounds like one of the guys from the midnight watch.

Dispatcher: What’s a heavy tank top?

Wednesday, July 30, 11:05 AM

Dispatcher: 1569-Boy? 1569-Boy?

1569-B: Yes?

Dispatcher: Got a drug call, it’s, ah, 5— W. Gladys–remind me never to live on that street–5— W. Gladys, you’ve got two male blacks selling drugs, and they hide it in their booty!

1569-B: Ten-four.

Unidentified Caller: That’s why they call it crack.

Dispatcher: Hahahahaha. Hahaha.

1569-B: That was a good one.

Wednesday, July 30, 11:20 AM

2541: 2541.

Dispatcher: 2541, go ahead.

2541: I wish to report a pothole.

Dispatcher: Your wish is my command. Go ahead, where is it?

2541: It’s in progress, 6— W. Grand.

Dispatcher: OK, they always ask me this: is it close to the curb or in the middle of the street?

2541: Middle of the street, and my right front tire knows it.

Dispatcher: Oh good. Whaddya call it?

2541: The big black hole.

Dispatcher: Say, that’s what I used to call my marriage.