Tuesday, March 5, 11:35 AM

Dispatcher: Larry, you want me to hold you down or something, someplace?

Larry: Not yet. That other dispatcher was a mean hombre.

Dispatcher: That was a power guy.

Larry: You got that right.

1711: 711.

Dispatcher: You got something you got to do someplace? That other guy’s gone now if you got something you got to take care of.

1711: OK, I’m gonna head back there right now. I got to go to 4201 W. Victoria.

1732: 1732. Can you put me clear with the miscellaneous X ray, whatever that is? It was a damage of property, but it wasn’t gonna show up on the report–that’s why I didn’t call ya.

Dispatcher: Hey, it’s quite all right. The other guy’s gone now, you guys can relax again.

Friday, March 15, 12:15 AM

Dispatcher: Thirteenth District and citywide, we have a person with a gun, 1746 W. Ohio, in the backyard. R—-is your complainant. You’ve got four to five guys drinking and smoking–and maybe armed.

1369-A: 1369-Adam and -David, a block away, in civilian dress, ma’am.

Dispatcher: OK, 10-4. Units in 13 be advised that you got civilian-dressed units responding to the person with a gun, 1746 on Ohio.

1369-A: We’re gonna hit the front. We’re on the street if anyone wants to try and do the alley.

1352: 1352. Yeah, Mike, we got the alley.

UNIDENTIFIED CALLER: [Garbled, excited.]

Dispatcher: Yeah, 1369-David, go!

1369-D: We got him at Ohio and Wood, Ohio and Wood!

Dispatcher: 52, everything OK over there?

1352: Yeah, we’re here with that 69 unit. Everything’s under control.


Dispatcher: 1369-Adam or -David, for information?

1369-A: 1369-Adam, ma’am.

Dispatcher: Yes sir, we’re getting another call over at 1746 W. Ohio, stating that you got two men hiding under the stairs by garbage cans at that location.

1369-A: Uh, 369-Adam. We’ll go right back, but if one of ’em is a big red-faced handsome guy looking like Lech Walesa, it’s the police.

Dispatcher: OK, I thought it might be. So–

1413: 413. What mirror you lookin’ in, Mike?

UNIDENTIFIED CALLER: Bottom of a shot glass.

Saturday, March 16, 11:45 PM

Dispatcher: 332?

2332: Yeah, can I ask anybody on the zone if they know where the Hidden Shamrock is?

Dispatcher: Does anybody know where the Hidden Shamrock is for 2332?

UNIDENTIFIED CALLER: It’s under the Blarney stone.

Tuesday, March 19, 8:55 PM

1157: 1157. 1157. 1157, emergency.

Dispatcher: OK, 1157, go ahead.

1157: Get an ambulance at 44–where we at? 42? On Adams, the address, wherever they sent us.

Dispatcher: OK, I just got back. What you got over there, they’re gonna ask.

1157: This woman, I don’t know what the hell happened to her–she says she got beat up, and now she’s…There’s an ambulance here! Disregard that.

Dispatcher: OK, 10-4. You got one there, 10-4.

1157: 1157.

Dispatcher: 1157?

1157: Combination of bad booze, bad acting, and bad sex. 19-Paul.

Dispatcher: 10-4, thanks for going over there.