DISPATCHER: Those units that are patrolling the area of the blackout, have your Mars lights turned on while you’re in that area of the blackout. Turn on your Mars lights so the residents can see the squad cars, in case they need you, I guess.
UNIDENTIFIED CALLER: Make us an easy target.
ANOTHER UNIDENTIFIED CALLER: Take a shot in the dark.
1531: 1531. Calling in with one disorderly from Chicago, squad.
DISPATCHER: 10-4, 1531.
1531: And do the paperwork by candlelight, right?
Tuesday, April 9, 3:45 PM
DISPATCHER: We have a battery that just occurred. Mr. Y____ will be out in front, stating that his dentist just hit him and he wants us to arrest him.
1942: He was probably just trying to knock his tooth out.
DISPATCHER: Just an old-fashioned dentist, that’s all.
Tuesday, April 16, 12:42 PM
DISPATCHER: Units in 20, I have a message. Any car that does not have a blue ribbon on their car should go in and get one. Any car in 20 that does not have a blue ribbon go in and get one. Go to the watch commander.
2051: Where do we go–to the area?
DISPATCHER: No, it says, let’s see, to the station I think. It says come in and get one. Any car that does not have a blue ribbon should come in and get one right away.
UNIDENTIFIED CALLER: Will a Pabst Blue Ribbon inside the car suffice?
DISPATCHER: No, no, no.
Tuesday, April 16, 7:30 PM
UNKNOWN Person (yelling at someone on the street): You fuckin’ loser!
UNIDENTIFIED CALLER: Yeah, I’ll say.
UNKNOWN person: You’re gonna get a bologna sandwich, huh? Fuck your bologna sandwich! I’ll fuck your mother tonight!
ANOTHER UNIDENTIFIED CALLER: What was that?
DISPATCHER: Watch your keys, you have an open key on the zone.
DISPATCHER: 1-5, go ahead.
2515: We’re comin’ in with, uh, a celebrity.
DISPATCHER: We’re here, where are you at?
2515: From Armitage and Central Park and Shakespeare.
DISPATCHER: All right, 10-4.
UNKNOWN person: Fuck you!
FIRST UNIDENTIFIED CALLER: Is it Oprah?