Dispatcher: 1143, take this assault, if you would. Complainant says the gang members are waiting outside to beat him up. Can you believe it? Ten carloads of gangbangers to kick his ass!

1143: Ten-four.

Dispatcher: They’re gonna kick his ass….OK, we’re gonna go right down the line with this nonsense. 1171, one-one-seven-one?

1171: 71.

Dispatcher: 71, good morning to you. You have a person down at 1151 S. Independence, 1151 S. Independence. Wasn’t this guy down there last night too? States possible DOA lying in the parkway at Crenshaw and Independence. Fire’s not responding to this. Yeah, maybe if they’d responded last night, he’d still be alive, huh?

1171: Ten-four.

Dispatcher: 1142, 4738 Washington. Have a disturbance with a mental patient smoking crack, says it’s the second call. I don’t even see the first–uh, disregard, 1154’s there. OK, 1142 again, a battery domestic, a woman beaten by the husband. I can’t believe this–Homan Foods and Liquors, if you would.

1142: Ten-four.

Dispatcher: There’s so much stuff here, you guys, I can’t believe it. Units in 11, they say they got a person with a gun at 3820 Chicago. They say it’s an armed robbery, male black with a black shirt, black hood, and black pants. Took the victim’s jacket and ran westbound on Augusta with two other offenders. Victim knows same, and where man with gun lives. I should have started out “Once upon a time,” huh?

UNIDENTIFIED CALLER: If they know each other, why don’t they take care of it themselves?

Dispatcher: Yeah, really. 1051, 1051?

1051: 1051, at your service.

Dispatcher: And I’m so glad you are, thank you. I have a disturbance at 1200 S. Kedvale. Woman in the house, disturbance with a male friend over money. Ya got it, ya gotta pay for it.

1051: Hey squad, you’re sending us on this north end of the zone a lot, you know we’re way south, all right? You don’t have any north-side cars up?

dispatcher: I don’t have much of anything up, sir.

1051: We’re comin’ from way south, OK?

Dispatcher: Maybe it’ll be over before you get there….Got another one: they’re doing drugs at 3700 S. Ferdinand. They’re doing drugs at 3700 S. Ferdinand. If I was at 3700 S. Ferdinand, I’d be doing drugs too.

Sunday, May 12, 11:40 PM

Dispatcher: 1135, 1135?

1135: Whattayou want?

Dispatcher: Oh, a little testy today, are we?

1135: You got it, brother.

Dispatcher: Bad Mother’s Day or what? Listen, when you get your stuff together, at 2700 Polk, grandfather’s complaining about a 13-year-old grandson sleeping in the hallway.

1135: What? [Unintelligible.]

Dispatcher: Hey, we’re talking the west side here, OK? Logic is not part of the game.

1135: Ten-four.