Tuesday, April 3, 12:25 AM

Dispatcher: 813? Suspicious auto right down the street, 42– W. 59th St. Says it’s in the middle of the street and the door is gone.

813: I’m lookin’ at it as we speak.

Dispatcher: Oh, you must be psychotic–I mean psychic.

813: Yeah, both.

Wednesday, April 4, 11:10 PM

dispatcher: Gang disturbance, 38– on Palmer. Supposed to be people sellin’ drugs and being disturbin’ about it.

Wednesday, April 4, 11:40 PM

dispatcher: Anonymous caller says that two guys are sitting in a blue van for over two hours, the engine’s running, there’s no parking there, and it’s loud and disturbing the neighbors.

Unidentified caller: Ten-four. Did they say if the van was rocking?

Thursday, April 5, 12:25 AM

dispatcher: A domestic, – N. Lavergne, see Delores. Havin’ trouble with the boyfriend who’s got a fashion impediment: he’s wearin’ black leather pants and a green-and-white sweater.

1532: Ten-four.

Wednesday, April 11, 1:00 AM

Dispatcher: We just got a call for a person with a gun at 16– Monitor. Levy says the male–he called, said he had a gun, then he hung up.

2532: Everybody has a gun, squad. Ten-four.