To the Editor:

Let Adam Langer’s portrait of a serial Christian–a Promise Keeper–serve as a wake-up call to every woman, gay person, and Jew who still respects God and democracy [Our Town, May 30]. These losers and weepers are dangerous.

The Frat Boys for Christ can cry and whine all they want about their illusory victimhood; I don’t care. (Since when are white hetero male Christians victims of anything other than arrogance or fashion?) But it’s the PKs’ spiritual piousness, the “We’re God’s chosen ones come to save you assholes” that grates on my last gay nerve. Anyone who claims to speak for God better have the initials J.C., wear white robes, and be able to walk on both Lake Michigan and the Lake of Fire. Anyone else, get thee to a kook house.

This whole “We’re not political” lie can just kiss my ass. Don’t forget, these guys may sing “Holy, Holy, Holy” one minute, but they’re also the same people who go back to their hometowns and raise holy hell with such Christian missions as antigay ballot initiatives, compulsory Christian prayer in the schools, and Christian Coalition membership drives. If whipping up the fundamentalist faithful to go out there and do “God’s work” isn’t part of a political mantra, I’m Ralph Reed’s left testicle.

And does anyone notice just a sliver of irony in the homoeroticism of your typical Promise Keepers gathering? Not homosexual, mind you, but homoerotic, as in a crowd of tightly packed, sweaty, hairy, shirtless men holding each other and having it feel nice, real nice. Call it Promise Keepers or the Manhole, it’s the same idea: there is pleasure in same-sex bonding. And some of us have life partners–albeit no marriage certificate–to prove it.

Listen, if Bill McCartney and crew can make millions telling hetero men to spend more time with their kids, stay faithful to their wives, and become less materialistic–and they actually do it–more power to ’em. (Even though Oprah could have told them that for free.) I’m all for fidelity, responsibility, and spiritual consciousness. But when it comes to shoving their brand of conservative politics and religion down our collective throats, the PKs need to sit down. Notice it was the PKs who demanded that others be just like them, or else. All those nice lesbians wanted was a little respect and to be left alone.

And guys, if you have problems talking about your feelings with your girlfriends and wives, maybe it’s them you should turn to with a hug and sob story, rather than your golf partner. It’s called communication, and it’s what real men do.

Erik Piepenburg

W. Irving Park