Editor–Now Even Dearer!

My friends and relatives really enjoy the soups and appetizers I make for holiday dinners, and my sister-in-law, like Chef Earl’s [August 18], has persuaded me that I should sell the stuff. I’ll leave the hummus to Earl–he says he’s the king, and I don’t mess with royalty–but we can go head-to-head on salsa: rojo, verde, mole! And I’ll see his “Asian sauce” and raise him African, antarctic, and North American!

Now, an eight-page advertorial in the Reader might be just the thing to prime the business pump, so I was wondering when Jeff Huebner was free for dinner. Unlike Chef Earl, I’ve never worked with Jeff but, hey, that could work to our advantage–it could look more like “journalism” if we’re not buddies to start with! The wife had a fling with one of your music writers 10 or 12 years ago but he’s since left town so that’s not much of an in.

But we will put out a nice spread, the neighbors will drop by with testimonials and neighbor talk, and to sweeten the deal my associates Brewer Mike and Mario “the Grapes” will provide organic libations. (We don’t really call Mario “the Grapes” but he thought youse might like the Mafia sound–sadly, I don’t know any real dons and have never been incarcerated. The cops once objected to a left turn I made, but my rap sheet’s clear ’cause I went to driving school. Yes, I’ve been there, and on break, between the slides of road accidents and the tips on avoiding road rage, I even talked sauces with a desperado from Niles who was in for broken taillights!) Mario says he can track down some blotter, too, if that’s part of Jeff’s terms, but he’d really rather not.

There sincerely is a…

Chef Al

(How can somebody come up with that name?)