Hey Patrick Griffin:

How ’bout we ban these quirky persuasive essays altogether? I’ll tell you what’s wrong with a ban on smoking [March 18], you don’t smoke anymore. Cuz if you did, at some point in time during the writing of this piece, you’d have come to the grave conclusion that it won’t just stop at cigarettes or tobacco. “It” is the self-righteous social cleansing that highly motivated people dick around with in their free time, like taking their souls to the car wash. If I were an executive at Philip Morris, you better believe I’d have a file on you, buddy.

The article was great, I loved it. Didn’t agree with anything you wrote, in fact your whole overview made me angry. Real pissed off. Gotta hand it to ya, man. One of these days, I’m gonna be buying smokes off the back of a truck, and I heard it here first.

With puffy clouds and yeller teeth,

Christian Adams

N. Lincoln