As you can see from my address, I live within a block of Lake Michigan. I love to swim but have not swum in the lake since my last visit to the Indiana Dunes many years ago. The lifeguards won’t let me. Everything Craig Greenman complains about is true [August 13]. If I try swimming, a rowboat pulls in front of me as soon as my feet are off the ground. The last time I tried to swim a lifeguard elegantly told me, “I don’t give a shit if you drown, but not while I’m on duty.” It’s a simple principle: if nobody swims, nobody drowns. Of course some people manage to drown anyway, but few drowning victims are swimmers. Check the statistics.