Probably wouldn’t hurt it you added some cheese too. The official rules of the “Wisconsin Apple Recipe Contest” specifically exclude Granny Smith apples “until they become of commercial importance in Wisconsin.”

Them are no adventure vacations in Illinois, at least to judge from the Specialty Travel Index (Fall/Winter), which lists 550 adventure-travel opportunities–from archaeological digs and ballooning trips to mountain treks and winery tours–in 42 states, including 11 in Wisconsin, 16 in Michigan, and 4 in Indiana.

“In a 1991 Northern Illinois University poll, 77 percent of Illinois voters would support state spending increases for public elementary and secondary education”–from a press release from the Committee for the Future of Our Children, which supports the Education Constitutional Amendment assigning preponderant ant responsibility for education funding to the state. The committee does not explain why, if more spending is so popular, state lawmakers don’t just solve the problem by raising taxes to pay for it.

An alumnus of the Pat Buchanan school of campaign tactics. Outdoor News Bulletin (August 14) reports that agriculture secretary Ed Madigan–once a U.S. representative from downstate Illinois, and once a moderate Republican–told a Farm Bureau meeting that his party’s farm platform would be “more money, higher income, more markets and string all the environmentalists up.”

Your tax dollars learning the painfully obvious. A recent (June 23) U.S. General Accounting Office statement on the use of IRS form 8300, “Report of Cash Payments Over $10,000 Received in a Trade or Business,” notes that 38 percent of such forms surveyed by the GAO had missing or wrong taxpayer identification numbers: “We believe it is reasonable to assume that money launderers who want to hide their identity or their nonfiling status from IRS would not want to provide their correct identification number.”

If you’re going to be sexually harassed, try to make sure it happens in the private sector. “With private industry, there’s a financial incentive to settle at least meritorious cases [out of court],” civil-rights attorney Lynne Bernabei tells Nell Bernstein in Mother Jones (September/ October). “With the government, it’s the taxpayers’ money, so they don’t give a damn. They fight every single case as long, and delay it as much, as they can. There’s no economic incentive to settle, because there’s a deep pocket.”

An ounce of prevention…Governors State University psychologist David Matteson: “The cost of one year’s medical care for one person with AIDS in the United States is about $32,000. That’s the cost of 4,000 prevention meetings in Zimbabwe!”

No thanks, I’m not hungry anymore. From a recent press release: “Selections from Geneva’s famed restaurants will send tastebuds into a tailspin at the Flavor Fare…”

Gender assimilation the wrong way–again. “Women used to be more frequent bus and transit users [than me],” says UIC urban geographer Siim Soot. Now, as increasing numbers of women own cars and drive them to work, “the gender differences in travel mode are beginning to disappear.”

Advice for newcomers to the field of community development, from Mattie Butler, executive director of the Woodlawn East Community and Neighbors (WECAN), quoted in Community Matters (June): “Always, always distinguish between your own wants and community wants. And always articulate community wants. They may be different at some points.”

“If we believe most critics of the North American Free Trade Agreement, nearly every job in America should have moved to Arkansas a long time ago,” writes Reason editor Virginia Postrel (October). “After all, the state’s 1991 per-capita income was a mere $14,753, beating out only West Virginia and Mississippi. Wages are low, people will work hard at unpleasant jobs, and, of course, there are no tariffs or quotas to keep Arkansas products from moving freely into Michigan or California, Missouri or Florida. “In short, Arkansas is a lot like Mexico, but with English-speaking workers and American legal institutions. As critics on the left and right try to terrify us with the specter of an upwardly mobile Mexico, it’s helpful to spend some time thinking about Arkansas–and about how poor places can get richer without making everyone else poorer.”

Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustration/Carl Kock.